Saturday, August 28, 2004

My Big Fat Filipino Wedding

Noooooo. I'm not getting married. That would involve me dating someone which hasn't happened since...well, when doesn't matter exactly, does it?

I just rented "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and watched it for the first time. And honestly, I'm not Greek or anything, but there were so many things in that movie that mirror my life. I never really thought about how tough it is to cross-culturalize relationships. Maybe that contributes a lot to why I don't date a whole mess of guys.

It's like, sure...I've had the opportunity to go out with guys. I've gone out on dates with maybe a hand-full of guys during and since high school -- no need to name names (although, if you know me, I'm sure you can name them). I've been in only one significant relationship (which I sabotaged on my own quite successfully because of a lot of these cultural taboos and misunderstandings, so to speak).

It was kinda surreal to watch a movie like that when I've lived it myself, you know? Bullet points make this argument so much easier:
  • I have the father who wants the guy to ask for permission
  • I have a semi-big, crazy, loud family (ok, the "semi" part could just be substituted with "completely")
  • We cook large animals in our yard (you may not have seen us have, or tasted, the lechon -- that means "pig" in Tagalog" -- but my dad is known to dig holes in our yard for large enough parties)
  • I have a brother who would kill (and make it look like an accident) my boyfriend if he hurt me badly enough
  • Did I mention you have to ask permission to date me?

    Yea, that list isn't necessarily exhaustive. It is hard growing up from a non-Anglo culture. It's like I've always considered myself "white," but I can't escape the Filipina side of my heritage. It's always there because my family means so much to me. It's like one tries to assimilate with their culture but, in reality, culture has to assimilate with you.

    And I guess, for me, that means whoever I end up with -- has to take me and my family for what they are. And I still haven't found that person. It's hard to do that. It's hard to find that one person who will accept you and your family for what they are, and at the same time, have them love all of you for good times and bad.

    Maybe I'm too much of a pessimist when I say this, maybe I've been out of the game too long, but sometimes it's hard to think that that one person will ever come along for me, especially now............
  • Friday, August 27, 2004

    What Did I Do Today?

    Well, I got out of bed. That's definitely a good thing given my recent circumstances. Pretty much any day I get out of bed now will be a good day, I think.

    Then, I went to lunch with my favorite crack whore. No, not a real crack whore. We just like to call Katie that. You have to know the story, I guess, for that to be funny. And question: Is crack whore -- two words, hypenated, or a compound word?


    Then, I went home. Went through some old CDs and videos. Found out that my brother has like 70 some Toscanini classical CDs of the NBC Symphony Orchestra that are utterly amazing and full of the greatest symphonies (you know, for the classy person of such high esteem that I am to enjoy). I tossed about 20 VHS tapes of *NSYNC stuff that I had taped off tv. Yea, do you think 20 years from now I'm going to be bummed that I threw away the first showing of "Bye Bye Bye" on TRL???

    Yea, I'm heartbroken. I know.

    Then, after my car's oil changed done by the most enept people at Valvoline. Although the kid who did work on my car was pretty cute. But, I think that is illegal in all 50 states (between you and me, I think he was underage -- check those work laws Norman Mineta).

    Then, got dinner for the fam. Nothing spectacular. Some Boston Market. Yea...they have this strawberry shortcake dessert. Not that amazing. Just a hint.

    Then, watched some TV (YAY GAC On Demand for having Kenny Chesney videos...have I mentioned my huge crush on him!?).

    Then, went to get some Rum & Coke custard at Kopps, and after that went to Wal-Mart to pick up some stuff for my hair. Damn humidity. Why can't I live in a desert?

    Now, I'm doing laundry. So fun to be me, eh? Aight...

    Gotta go see how my white's are whitenin'....Peace out kidses.

    p.s. two potential buyers looking at the house tomorrow (I don't know if I should be happy about that........)

    Thursday, August 26, 2004


    Well, today I started packing things away. I took down the *NSYNC and Michael Jordan posters. Packed away some of my mom's old China. And tucked away a few of my old, stuffed friends.

    God. This is so hard to do.

    It just isn't fair. Why? Why do we have to move? Why is the court forcing my dad out of his house? It just doesn't seem right. There has to be some way around this all, you know? Some way to avoid all this heartache and pain of packing away 50 some years of my parent's, my brother's and sister's, and my life in to a few U-Haul boxes and into storage.

    It just isn't fair...

    Monday, August 23, 2004

    Date Set

    So, the date has been set for when everyone needs to be out of the Milwaukee house...

    November 30th.

    I guess that means I won't be back in Milwaukee for Christmas-time.

    Yea, I've gotta start packing up my room this week, so my stuff can either get shipped to Boston or go into storage for the upcoming year until I move (unless I get a job out east, at which point I'll have to move all my stuff into a bigger apartment that isn't in Allston).

    It looks, at the moment, that my Dad will be moving to San Diego to live with one of two cousins. My brother, at the moment, is debating his options. He can stay in Wisconsin with one sister, or move to San Diego with the other sister -- both have extra rooms, but only one can take the dog (which is a big thing to consider...we may give up the house, but Monty stays).

    As for me, it looks like I'm going to have a shitload of more stuff for the apartment. John is going to bring a U-Haul of my stuff sometime in October (including my bed). So, any of my hot guy friends who want to help carry my furniture up three flights of stairs, you'll be compensated VERY nicely (hint, hint...wait, I didn't say "hint." I said hint...meaning, you're helping and I'll buy you lunch or some drinks or something. Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm not that kinda girl)

    For the rest of my life, yea...That means saying good-bye to all of my lifelong friends. Kinda sad, since I've known a lot of them for at least 5 years and then there's some I've known for 20 years. And, lord knows, when I'll see everyone again, right?

    Ugh...I have a week and a half left here...How does that work!? Goodbyes, packing, and relaxing!?

    My vacation isn't turning out to be much of a vacation at all...


    Ok, whoever thought it was a good idea to stuff a duck and a chicken inside of a whole turkey is either pure genius, or on some seriously heavy doses of a lithium-based product.

    So, the bored soul that I am (and out of pure curiousity), I go to, and I find that someone has seriously stuffed a turkey full of two other birds, plus andouille sausage (yes, that's said like and-doo-wee), and vegetables.

    Now, I can't really knock some good 'old Cajun cookin' until I try it, but it just sounds so obnoxiously absurd, doesn't it? But, then again, so does half of the stuff I put in my body.

    Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that I would like half of the things that I do (liver & onions, Shepherd's Pie, fried cheese curds, cream cheese and potato chips, the list goes on and on...), and still, my digestive track doesn't have any real problems, either. What a wonder, eh?

    If anyone would like to tell me how this turducken tastes, or would like to try one with me, I can order a turducken breast on the internet for like $60 and have it shipped.

    Dinner partayyyy, anyone?!?

    Sunday, August 22, 2004

    Rut City

    Now I remember why I always have nothing to do in Milwaukee...

    There's nothing to do in Milwaukee.

    Well, there is. It's just... I dunno. Maybe I'm lazy. Maybe I'm just not wanting to do anything. Maybe I've gotten boring in my advanced aged. I dunno. I just don't feel like doing anything while I'm home, I guess.

    People think that's a bad thing, you know? I don't. I was burned out. I pulled my back out for God's sake while I was sleeping. If that isn't stress, I don't know what is. It's like I AM doing stuff -- don't get me wrong.

    I played a round of golf today. It was awesome. I haven't picked up my clubs in like at least 5 years (or whenever it was when I was recruited for that joint East/West Girl's golf team back in the day). I was launching balls. I was making great contact. And it felt so wicked good to just be out in the hot sun on such a beautiful day, you know?

    Then, I played some more mini-golf tonight...working on my short game. Yea, that's not going too well. Gotta keep working on that.

    So, all-in-all...I'm not in a rut. And I'm not boring. I'm just relaxing. I just don't like being pressured into things by people and feel that's what a lot of people are doing right now.

    And if there's one thing that you need to learn about me, if my mind is set on not doing something, I don't do it.

    Aight...I kinda sleepy-weepy...Night kidses :)