Tuesday, October 12, 2004

What is persistence?

Random question of the day: What is the definition of persistence?

I wish I knew because apparently that's what I need to be. Well, that's if I listen to someone close to you-know-who. I dunno. I don't know what to even believe anymore, or what I should be doing vs. how I'm doing it. I just...I just want things to work out. I want something to happen.

Everytime that I convince myself I don't need said boy, someone comes back and tells me that I need to continue pursuing him because he's on some fence, or because they think I can win him over, or some bull sh*t to that extent.

It's like they lure me back in to think that I really can win him over. But, every time I try to be "persistent," I feel like I'm just being annoying, or coming across as needy and desperate -- which I most definitely am not.

I genuinely like this person. I do want something to come from our friendship, y'know. There's something there...sure. I just don't know what to do about it. If I should do anything at all, y'know? He makes me smile and has this way of making my day seem that much brighter when it sucks or something like that.

It's all so juvenile. I wish I could just slip him a note under the table that says "check 'yes' or 'no' if you like me." But, for some reason I don't think that would fly. It didn't work with me in sixth grade.

I can't give up on this since I do feel so strongly for him, but at the same time...how can I trust what someone else has been saying about him, when it hasn't been him who's necessarily been saying it?

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