I'm somewhat scared that only 10 weeks are left until the wedding. I feel like nothing has gotten accomplished or that I'm doing stuff completely wrong.
Case in point: I forgot to put on the postage on the return envelopes for the response cards. Thanks Brett for remembering the next day as I'm brushing my teeth. Very helpful.
Today, I'm picking up my dress. I'm very, very scared that it's going to look hideous, well...that I'm going to look hideous. I don't even have shoes picked out yet. I don't know how I'm going to do my hair and make-up. My flowers are kinda set, but I'm worried about those, too.
I just feel that things are whirling out of control very fast. We're trying to find wedding readings that are meaningful to us and our personalities. It's been very difficult finding things that are humorous, yet poignant and loving, and reflect our relationship and time as a couple. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know. I've scoured most Nicholas Sparks book, JRR Tolkien, movie quotes, whatever.
please hold...work calls...
We also don't have clothes for the groom (and groomsmen) ordered. I just feel like its getting very late and soon we'll hit some point-of-no-return and he'll end up wearing a taffeta tuxedo in lavender with ruffles reminiscent of the late '60s.
I'm trying to maintain my composure and not get all worked up, but I feel that all these people have a certain image of what our wedding is going to be and my image and their image doesn't match-up and they'll be utterly disappointed. It's so hard to change someone's preconceived notions of what a wedding should be and how I or Brett want things to be. It just seems that everyone wants something else for us (all while meaning well), but it's just not what we want.
I wish I knew how to tell people without being mean that I respect their opinion but this isn't their decision to make.
Is it awful that I just want this wedding to be over? I'm having nightmares at night about it. I wake up in a cold sweat over dreams like one I had the other night (I was slugging Brett in the chest with the yellow pages because he wouldn't get married at the courthouse). Then, there's the some nights where I don't sleep at all.
I've never wanted a complicated wedding with lots of people. I want it to be simple and small, which I think, in theory, is what we're doing. But, all these other small details are starting to linger over my head and make it seem like I'm just doing something wrong. Does that make any sense at all, or am I just a crazy bride?
