Monday, March 24, 2008

Dear Winter...

Dear Winter 2008,

I don't think we have officially met even though you begrudgingly have taken it upon yourself to make a great impression on my life this winter. I would like to take this opportunity to come to a compromise. While many people in southeastern Wisconsin would like to see at least 13 more inches (to reach the snowfall record) of snow fall upon this great white tundra, I do not.

I may speak only for myself, but I really don't believe that I do. I have had it with your intolerant nature. Your inability to lead us into spring, into a time where the trees begin to bloom, the birds begin to chirp, and once again, I can see out my bedroom window.

For too long you have held your white and fluffy grasp on us. We have had it! It was all nice and cheery when children were playing in their yards in piles of snowdrifts up to their waists in November. It was lovely having a white Christmas and an even whiter New Year's. But cries of sorrow fill my heart as we now have seen Easter come and go. Wearing a chunky parka instead of a sleeveless Easter dress to Church, it just doesn't feel right.

You have messed with the heads of millions this year placing your voodoo charms on our minds. Luring us into a false sense of security a few weeks ago with temperatures nearing the 60 degree mark, only to bring us 15 inches of snow on the first day of spring!

You have had your last laugh Winter 2008. Spring and Summer will prevail! Their strength and determination to bring us sultry sun and loud, booming thunderstorms will overcome this tyranny you have exalted for the past five months. I refuse to let you ruin Opening Day tailgates by forcing thousands of people to grill bratwursts in frigid temperatures or down snow-covered cans of Miller products.

I hope we may come to an agreement, Winter. While you bring light to the eyes of many, we hope you go away peacefully. I wish you a very well hibernation.

Sincerely,

A Disgruntled Midwesterner