Thank gawd I didn't say something in an IM today. When have I ever been able to hold my tongue about something? Yea, usually never.Thank goodness I could do it today.
Saved my ass.
Breathe. Everything is OK. No one knows a thing...or do they?
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Monday, September 27, 2004
Smitten Insomniac
I can't sleep. Well, I tried, and I can't. I suppose I will later. Just right now I can't. I don't know why. Ok, I think I know. I'm antsy.
Antsy and Chris don't go well together. That's kinda like lamb and tuna fish. Yea, they just don't meld well with one another. I have all this excess energy that I need to expel. Still, I'm exhausted from working. I just can't sleep, though. Could that be a sign of something else? Yea, sure it is. I'm antsy, aren't I?
Ugh.
I hate feeling this way. You know, when you don't have control over something. Yea, that feeling doesn't meld well with me, either. I guess I'm just in one of those moods. I want everything to go right. I had a great weekend and I just want it to continue. Maybe that's it. I had too good of a weekend for once and I don't know what to do with myself. It is a rarity for me to actually have fun, isn't it?
Well, I do have fun...sometimes. Just not here that often. I don't know why I had that much fun anyways. Ok, that's a flat-out lie. Of course, I know why I had a lot of fun this weekend and enjoyed myself so much.
I got shit-faced and hung out with a boy that I have a major crush on. That's why. Oops, I probably shouldn't have said that outloud, should I? Oh, well. It's not like he doesn't know. Wait, he probably doesn't know. But, it's not like he reads this?
Wait, with my luck...He probably does read this. Why? 'Cause I was born under a bad sign. That's why. Ugh. If I could just have really good luck, you know? And knew that he felt the same way about me, y'know?
That his heart raced as much as mine does every time we're together. That he's feeling nervous like a 12-year-old when our eyes meet. Yea, that's kinda how I feel when we're together. It's so goofy, but it's fun, y'know? I haven't felt that for a long time. And a part of me doesn't want it to go away. I like that feeling. The anticipation of knowing that there's the possibility of something . Not quite sure what -- but something.
That something that's on the horizon. A lingering sort of antsyness that is exhilarating and refreshing and nerve-racking all at the same time. I really don't want that to go away. Because I know if that feeling goes away...That means that he didn't feel the same way. And really, I don't want that outcome.
At the same time, I don't want to go down some road with this person because we are such good friends. And my history with guys who I've been friends with and then wanted something else...well, let's just say my track record isn't that good.
So, I guess I just want that pitter-patter of excitement to continue a little while longer and then maybe...who knows...
Antsy and Chris don't go well together. That's kinda like lamb and tuna fish. Yea, they just don't meld well with one another. I have all this excess energy that I need to expel. Still, I'm exhausted from working. I just can't sleep, though. Could that be a sign of something else? Yea, sure it is. I'm antsy, aren't I?
Ugh.
I hate feeling this way. You know, when you don't have control over something. Yea, that feeling doesn't meld well with me, either. I guess I'm just in one of those moods. I want everything to go right. I had a great weekend and I just want it to continue. Maybe that's it. I had too good of a weekend for once and I don't know what to do with myself. It is a rarity for me to actually have fun, isn't it?
Well, I do have fun...sometimes. Just not here that often. I don't know why I had that much fun anyways. Ok, that's a flat-out lie. Of course, I know why I had a lot of fun this weekend and enjoyed myself so much.
I got shit-faced and hung out with a boy that I have a major crush on. That's why. Oops, I probably shouldn't have said that outloud, should I? Oh, well. It's not like he doesn't know. Wait, he probably doesn't know. But, it's not like he reads this?
Wait, with my luck...He probably does read this. Why? 'Cause I was born under a bad sign. That's why. Ugh. If I could just have really good luck, you know? And knew that he felt the same way about me, y'know?
That his heart raced as much as mine does every time we're together. That he's feeling nervous like a 12-year-old when our eyes meet. Yea, that's kinda how I feel when we're together. It's so goofy, but it's fun, y'know? I haven't felt that for a long time. And a part of me doesn't want it to go away. I like that feeling. The anticipation of knowing that there's the possibility of something . Not quite sure what -- but something.
That something that's on the horizon. A lingering sort of antsyness that is exhilarating and refreshing and nerve-racking all at the same time. I really don't want that to go away. Because I know if that feeling goes away...That means that he didn't feel the same way. And really, I don't want that outcome.
At the same time, I don't want to go down some road with this person because we are such good friends. And my history with guys who I've been friends with and then wanted something else...well, let's just say my track record isn't that good.
So, I guess I just want that pitter-patter of excitement to continue a little while longer and then maybe...who knows...
Sunday, September 26, 2004
Bedding Down
Yay! My first night in a real bed. Awesome, awesome, awesome. No more sleeping in the living room!
Thanks, Melissa!
Thanks, Melissa!
Saturday, September 25, 2004
Ok, who picked Varsity Blues...
All right...So Friday was pretty fun. I have to admit. Even though I had to be at work at 9 a.m. and then I had a four hour class. It was still pretty good. How (and or why), you ask?
Well...let's see...
I dunno. I guess Emerson is finally getting fun this year. People are just being normal. And themselves, I suppose. It makes for a lot less egos and a little bit more relaxation and funness factor. I guess when you go to a place that specializes in putting people in front of the camera you're bound to have ego clashes, but for whatever reason I think this year will be totally different.
Yay!
So, after an amusing work outing and practicum class...yea...that sugar high from the ice cream pretty much set the tone for the rest of the evening -- a whimsical, whipped-cream filled evening in a cup. (And you think I'm joking about the whipped cream part)
Auditions were fun, the 3-hour drive to Cambridge was endless (but it did end with an awesome Mexican dinner and tequila goodness), the random breakdown of the car (not so cool and somewhat freaky), the game (well, the better team won guys...plain and simple), and wait a second...
Who the hell picked "Varsity Blues" for the movie?!?
I didn't get a chance to vote on that. I was too far wasted on the six-pack of Mike's Hard. Yea, that movie sucked. What the !@#$ Yea, I want a do-over on that one if possible. I think Lindsay, Charles, or Brett owes me another movie...take your pick guys. Yes, it was an interesting evening to say the least...maybe it will continue into tonight.
Yah, that's wishful thinking...
Well...let's see...
I dunno. I guess Emerson is finally getting fun this year. People are just being normal. And themselves, I suppose. It makes for a lot less egos and a little bit more relaxation and funness factor. I guess when you go to a place that specializes in putting people in front of the camera you're bound to have ego clashes, but for whatever reason I think this year will be totally different.
Yay!
So, after an amusing work outing and practicum class...yea...that sugar high from the ice cream pretty much set the tone for the rest of the evening -- a whimsical, whipped-cream filled evening in a cup. (And you think I'm joking about the whipped cream part)
Auditions were fun, the 3-hour drive to Cambridge was endless (but it did end with an awesome Mexican dinner and tequila goodness), the random breakdown of the car (not so cool and somewhat freaky), the game (well, the better team won guys...plain and simple), and wait a second...
Who the hell picked "Varsity Blues" for the movie?!?
I didn't get a chance to vote on that. I was too far wasted on the six-pack of Mike's Hard. Yea, that movie sucked. What the !@#$ Yea, I want a do-over on that one if possible. I think Lindsay, Charles, or Brett owes me another movie...take your pick guys. Yes, it was an interesting evening to say the least...maybe it will continue into tonight.
Yah, that's wishful thinking...
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Retraction
Dear Readers,
The management apologizes greatly for any comments made last night in the wild throws of downing Mike's Hard Lemonades. Please disregard any and all comments stating that management would like to "change her girl-next-door image."
Management is quite pleased with the way her life is going and needs to accept the fact that Boston is full of incompetence that in no way reflects her own poor judgements within the realms of personal relationships.
Again, we greatly apologize for any comments.
The management apologizes greatly for any comments made last night in the wild throws of downing Mike's Hard Lemonades. Please disregard any and all comments stating that management would like to "change her girl-next-door image."
Management is quite pleased with the way her life is going and needs to accept the fact that Boston is full of incompetence that in no way reflects her own poor judgements within the realms of personal relationships.
Again, we greatly apologize for any comments.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
What do I have to do?
All right. What do I have to do to get a little bit of action from a college-aged guy? It shouldn't be much, right? I should just be able to say, "Hey, do you want to go out and get a drink?" Right?
Wrong.
Apparently, I'm going to have to spread my legs wide open, bare my flat-chest, and be a drunk to get a guy to notice me.
Ugh. I hate being this nice girl all the time who comes across as the girl-next-door. I'm sick of it. I just want to date a guy.
Is this too much to ask?
Wrong.
Apparently, I'm going to have to spread my legs wide open, bare my flat-chest, and be a drunk to get a guy to notice me.
Ugh. I hate being this nice girl all the time who comes across as the girl-next-door. I'm sick of it. I just want to date a guy.
Is this too much to ask?
Monday, September 20, 2004
Chris's Amendment to Life Lesson #2
Shaking my head
Yes, I am not proud to say that I may need the chicken rule finally for myself in this god-forsaken place.
Guys...why??? I'm a nice person. I don't deserve this (or maybe I do?). I dunno. But, I meet a nice one of you and then you lure me in like a trout in one of Minnesota's 10,000 lakes or some crap, and then I'm wicked hooked.
I don't need this distraction in my life right now. But I can't stop thinking about someone and it is killing me. I have this proposal due for practicum tomorrow at noon -- and what do I have to show for it? Yea, nada.
All I can think about is..."Oh, when will I see him again?" or, "I wonder if he thinks the same about me..."
Yes, I have it bad. Well, it's been awhile since I've crushed this bad. And we all know how that turned out -- Ohio, unreturned phone calls, and a broken heart.
Alas, I'm back in the game...I think.
Yes, I am not proud to say that I may need the chicken rule finally for myself in this god-forsaken place.
Guys...why??? I'm a nice person. I don't deserve this (or maybe I do?). I dunno. But, I meet a nice one of you and then you lure me in like a trout in one of Minnesota's 10,000 lakes or some crap, and then I'm wicked hooked.
I don't need this distraction in my life right now. But I can't stop thinking about someone and it is killing me. I have this proposal due for practicum tomorrow at noon -- and what do I have to show for it? Yea, nada.
All I can think about is..."Oh, when will I see him again?" or, "I wonder if he thinks the same about me..."
Yes, I have it bad. Well, it's been awhile since I've crushed this bad. And we all know how that turned out -- Ohio, unreturned phone calls, and a broken heart.
Alas, I'm back in the game...I think.
Internet...Finally
I am finally connected to the internet again. Thank you Verizon DSL.
If you need to contact me:
AIM: RILLO07
Yahoo! Messenger: (always fun with the audible emoticons) brewcrew26
As always...No drunk IM-ing kidses...Not cool. Take my word on that.
If you need to contact me:
AIM: RILLO07
Yahoo! Messenger: (always fun with the audible emoticons) brewcrew26
As always...No drunk IM-ing kidses...Not cool. Take my word on that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)